Running fast requires strong morals.

I'll get to the running connection eventually. It's an interesting road...

I recently read two interesting pieces on free will. One from the New York Times and the other from a book by Michael Brooks called "13 things that don't make sense." One of the things that doesn't make sense, according to Brooks, is free will. The thing is, as Galen Strawson, author of the Times opinion, puts it, "current science gives us no more reason to think that determinism is false than that determinism is true." So are we really free to choose?

Strawson's analysis says no. Or at least, he connects the lack of free will to a lack of responsibility. He puts forth a "Basic Argument" as follows:

"(1) You do what you do — in the circumstances in which you find yourself—because of the way you then are.

(2) So if you’re going to be ultimately responsible for what you do, you’re going to have to be ultimately responsible for the way you are — at least in certain mental respects.

(3) But you can’t be ultimately responsible for the way you are in any respect at all.

(4) So you can’t be ultimately responsible for what you do."

Point three rests on the idea that whatever side of the nature or nurture debate you fall on, it's not your own free will that makes you the way you are. Every act we commit (or do not commit) is derivative.de novo from ourselves. This is kind of sad, or scary, depending on how you look at it. Whether it is derivative from our genes, or from the way our parents taught us to be, no act springs

The thing is, for all practical purposes ("practico-pratique, là," as my bar school teacher would say) it doesn't matter. Because unless you are super self-aware, and have an intimate and expert knowledge of genetics, our actions are pretty hard to specifically predict every time. So even if our path in life is already determined, at least it will still be a surprise.

But when you get right down to the nuclear core of everything, the quantum core, if you will, the randomness of the universe is what drives our actions, and being random, our universe is not determined. So maybe our actions are determined, but not by us. Are the random spinnings of sub-atomic particles enough to say that we have "free will"? I don't think so. Or is it? Brooks gets at this when he describes a process by which a subject's actions (physical actions, not moral actions) can be controlled by manipulating his brain chemistry with a magnetic field. What he further describes is slightly eerie: in monitoring brain activity, it has been discovered that the brain gears up to do its thing (whatever it is) before the person is consciously aware that he or she is going to do that thing. We are talking hundreds of milliseconds of difference here, which, depending on what industry you are in may or may not be a lot. I'd say for brain chemistry, that's a lot.

The real significance of this question is what it allows us to say about responsibility. It's a pretty easy out to suggest that our actions are determined, therefore we have no responsibility for them. Would such a defense ever stand-up in court? Not likely. The attempt to allow in the testimony of a Dr. Galen (State v. Sikora (1965) N.J. S.C.) to say that "unconscious influences" drove the accused's crime was not successful. Perhaps now that we have a deeper understanding of brain science, a better argument could be made than Galen's "inner tensions" but what would be the impact on society? Not good, I'd say.

The fact remains, regardless of whether our actions are determined or not, we are still responsible for them. Probably your attitude towards how much responsibility you have has already been shaped, but it can be shaped again, reshaped, and remade.

So to get to the running philosophy, let's say all your accumulated knowledge and tendencies are like training. All that training is going to determine how you are going to race. Of course, you can still influence the outcome of your race a little bit, but basically, the training gives you a range. The more aware you are, the more focused, the more confident, that is, the more responsible you are, the higher in the range you can be.

The moral of the story: Running fast requires strong moral fibre!

Racing in the street

Tonight, tonight the strip's just right
I wanna blow 'em off in my first heat
Summer's here and the time is right
For racin' in the street

I came across a link to an opinion in the Globe and Mail today. It seems that this fellow has gained a following for being controversially tough on mediocrity. Apparently it started with a letter to the editor of People Magazine, criticizing their categorization of Katie Holmes' NYC marathon as "impressive." Katie took 5.5 hours to finish the thing. Howard Stern once said "A five hour marathon is not running--it's blocking traffic."

I agree with Mr. Gilfillan, the author of the opinion piece and the letter to People, and I agree with Howard Stern. Many others do not. They think such an opinion is elitist, disrespectful, and arrogant. But I think the point is being lost in all the self-righteous "Hey, a 2:30 half marathon is pretty good for me" business. Let's examine what is really being said here.

First of all, the main point of the opinion piece is not an attack on slow runners. It is a lament for a lack of fast runners. I can see how this might enjoin a "what, I'm not good enough for you?" reaction from those who might not make the cut of "fast" but let's face facts: the average finish time for a marathon in Canada has shot up since the incursion of the Running Room on the scene (or earlier), and the number of fast finishes (say, under 2:20) has plummeted. It would be easy to connect the two, and blame the slow people for the lack of fast people, but that would be wrong. Well, almost wrong.

Of course average times will go up: there are way more people, and the bulk of them are slower. There are reasons to hail this as a good thing. It means more people are exercising. It means more people are getting involved in running, specifically, which we runners like because we want everyone to think running is important (or at least to think we are not abnormal). This is cool. Or it would be cool if there had not been a corresponding drop in elite and sub-elite times. The total number of finishers has shot way up, but it's not like there are limited spots. If someone wanted to go and run a 2:18 marathon, someone could. John Stanton is not stopping you. At least not directly.

So how to make the connection between the two? First, it would be interesting to figure out what it takes to run a sub-2:20 marathon for men or the equivalent for women which might be around 2:45. I take these numbers because there were 9 men under 2:20 and 8 women under 2:45 at the Ottawa Marathon, which is perhaps Canada's premiere marathon. But that is up for debate (somewhere else, not here). To run that fast you have to train long and hard. It requires a lot of work, and sacrifice, and probably some level of pre-existing condition of being relatively healthy.

What does it take to run a sub-4 hour marathon? It's not that hard. All it really takes is being relatively young and healthy. I once advised a young woman (early 20s) on running a marathon. I sent her workouts by email, but she pretty much slacked off the entire summer, played soccer twice a week, partied, and didn't run. She was not sedentary, but she was not a trained runner by any means. I counseled her to not bother with the marathon because it would probably be a painful experience. She did it anyway, and managed to run 3:45. With no training.

Another example is that of the (now ex-) husband of another young woman (mid-20s) I was training. This woman was a sub-elite, former varsity runner. She could run 10k under 40min and was shooting for around a 3:00 marathon. She worked very hard at it, ate well, sacrificed lots (she was also a young mom at the same time). So a few weeks before the big race, her jack-ass of a husband (who was not supportive throughout, making the training even tougher) says, I'm gonna run, too, this marathon bit is a joke. He wandered in around 3:45, right off the couch, no training except a lot of climbing. He wasn't very nice about it, but he did it.

That fact that the absolute time of 3:45 is attainable by a reasonably healthy person with very little training severely diminishes its value to me. In absolute terms, it's not that impressive.

That said, I am not immune to the reward that can come from a slower marathon, and to the efforts required to run one. I coached a slightly overweight woman in her mid-50s whose goal was to qualify for the Boston marathon. At her age, what was required was a 3:59. It actually took her a couple years to do it, so by the time she ran her best marathon of 4:14, she was old enough that the time qualified her. And it was satisfying. And she worked for it.

It really depends who you are. I would say that this woman respected the distance, while those who ran 3:45 on a whim, maybe did not. That concept, of respecting the distance, is something that gets brought up by those lamenting the increase of slowness. But the two are not mutually exclusive. I would say this, though: why? Why do you need to run a marathon, when you could probably get the necessary health benefits, and enjoy your training just as much, by training for a 5k or 10k. That's another tangent I won't get on right now.

This idea of respect, however, connects the decline of elite road racing with the increase of mediocre participation. Attitude and respect. And money. It seems that the running "industry" of the 70s and early 80s was centered around different values. People drawn to the sport then were fighting against something, maybe. They were characters in a Bruce Springsteen song: facing a tough situation, but getting through it. That's not who runners are any more. They are characters in a Nickleback song: whining about how hard things are, but not doing anything about it. The business of running is selling the check-box of a marathon to a generation of runners who haven't really had it rough. They are sold the idea that to be a "runner" you need community, clothes, gear, and snacks. That's not what running is. It can be. But running, at least, the kind of running that elites identify with, is about athleticism, individualism and competition. The thing about elites is, they are cheap. Fast runners thinks he or she should get their shoes for free. They don't want to pay entry fees. So businesses, like the Running Room, and the companies that put on road races, do not cater to them. If the mainstream of running doesn't promote or support elites, is there any wonder we lack them?

But I believe we can have it both ways. The great thing about road races is that the best of the best run along side the recreational joggers. This is a good thing. It's not like Sidney Crosby ever really stops to play shinny with kids. Beer leaguers never get to play with real professionals. In a big road race, "garage league" runners can go head-to-head with the stars. But what I find unfortunate, is the lack of respect that some of the recreational runners seem to have for the elites. Racing is a sport. It's a game, a competition, there are scores. Faster running is a better score. That's really all there is to it. It boggles my mind when I hear slower runners trying to rationalize that somehow the "real" story is the back-of-the-packer who struggles through 4:30, but the dude who breaks 2:18 on his first marathon is not that interesting. You never hear recreational hockey players describing their exploits as being tougher or more impressive than a professional's. At least not in earnest.

The reason why elites get annoyed at the focus on mediocre runners (and partially why the slower runners don't care about the elites) is because each group thinks the other is having a totally different experience. To be fair: I'm generalizing about both sides. There are plenty of elites who respect what an age-group runner goes through, and there are Gallowalkers who are great fans of the best in the sport. But I have heard comments from both sides that show this disconnect. The beauty of the sport is that everyone suffers the same during the race. Even if you are walking for most of your 5:00 marathon, it ain't easy. And while the winners might seem effortless as they cross the line after "only" 2:15 of running at the peak of their aerobic capacity, trust me, they are hurting. But this isn't the message we hear in the media. We hear "run easy" and "a 10 minute mile is the same distance as a 6 minute mile."

I hope that the reaction to an article like Gilfillan's can be, not to cry foul, but to try to find that dirty, gritty hope inside that despite what you are, you can be better. Mediocrity is not really measured by final race time. I think it's fair to say that. The problem is that if people start to think that a mediocre race time is "ok" or "pretty good" then they are only short-changing themselves. If someone runs a 4:15 marathon, and they have thrashed themselves within an inch of their life, then kudos to them. But that's not what we see out there. We see walk breaks, medals just for finishing, and smiles across the finish line. To me, that's disappointing. I know that is not the best you can do. And that's why Gilfillan is saying: you can do better. Do better.

When to walk away...and when to run?

I always tell my runners that all the lessons they learn in training and racing, they can apply to real life, too. So when we were faced with this difficult house-buying problem, I tried to rely on my running instincts to figure out what was best.

We saw a house we wanted to buy. We sold our condo to be able to buy it. But then lots of things kept going wrong. The seller was being picky about the move-in date, so we had to move that around a few times. Our buyers were also being picky as they had to move out of a rental and so we had to somehow accommodate that, plus the delay of part of their financing which was coming from overseas. They got antsy over little things, and threatened to back out twice. The night before the scheduled move, Miriam was up all night, sick. Then the next day, after I had moved a bunch of our stuff to Kris', where we were going to stay for a couple days to bridge the gap between when we moved out and when we were moving in, we get a call saying that the bank had refused financing to our buyers. Our buyers refused to even try another bank, and that threw our house purchase under the bus. Then we had to consider whether or not we wanted a mortgage, and whether or not we could even get one. Maybe if we were lucky, the seller would just give us more time.

So we tried to decide what to do. It seemed like the universe was pushing us away from this move. Or was it telling us to push forward, and that it would be worth it, but we'd have to work for it? This is where the running lesson comes in.

There is a point in every race where you have to decide if you are a hero or a wimp. It's harsh, but true. And every runner knows that feeling. It is your brain telling the rest of your body that something is wrong, and you should probably stop. You don't stop, usually, and it ends up being ok, usually. So we know we can override this deep-brain warning in order to achieve our goals. We practice pushing ourselves to that line in training, and gain the confidence we need to do it in performance.

There are certain situations where stopping is a better option: if you are injured. Sometimes we stop because the payoff is not enough: we know we won't win the race, or run a PB or get the placing we need to qualify. These aren't good excuses for a runner, but they make sense psychologically. Basically, we need to be motivated by the right things.

So to take it back to the house, are all of these roadblocks worth the payoff? Or is this a case of an injury that we really should take care of before jumping back in a race?

Step 2: keep running

So far the plan is working. After taking a couple days off to get ready for France, I ran nearly every day of the 15 days I was gone. I did 41miles the first week and 44 the next, including 4k of tempo in 15min. I'm basing the tempo off Endurance 5k, so 3:27+20sec per k was about right. My first week back in Montreal, despite classes and coaching, I managed 50miles. I got in some good runs at the cottage on the weekend, including a very solid 90min run that ended with 5k fast over some pretty hilly terrain. Fast being 20min (as opposed to the 23:30 for that stretch on the way out). My first tempo back in Montreal was 2 laps of summit, which I managed in 18min, split evenly. I was hoping to go further (2 laps+1k) but it was hot and I was not feeling as good as I'd hoped. This week, after the solid long run on Saturday, I did 3 laps in 26:50, the first one in 8:52, the second in 9min and the last in 8:58, and I felt much stronger. So already the increase in aerobic work is kicking in. I did a long run today as well. I have found that I feel good 2-3 days after a long run (90min, not 2h30), so since I will be racing 5k on Sunday this week, I thought I'd move the long run up. I have a massage with Eliza on Friday to work on my calves that have been tight (as usual).

With respect to the more philosophical plan, retirement, etc, I think that what happened was this: after the Boston marathon, there is no question that I needed a break. I had some fun with track races that summer, but my back was hurt, and I really should have just laid low. Once September and 1L rolled around, I was able to run a bit, but not really train. In the winter, because of some health problems, I didn't run at all for a period of 6 weeks. That was a big mistake. By the end of February, once I started up again, I started feeling much better. I decided that I would run for fitness rather than competition. I knew I needed to keep running in some respect, and I thought this would do it. I also wanted to dabble a bit in races, and I thought that I would be able to do ok with low volume and more quality than I was used to. I tried it for a good 3.5 months, but as we've seen, it did not work out, at least not on the competitive front. Certainly health-wise I was doing very well. I guess that what I DO want is to be able to run fast, and there is no question that for me, the best recipe for that is volume and aerobic capacity- and threshold-type workouts (as opposed to anaerobic workouts).

So am I un-retired? I guess I discovered what many people (especially Leslie) were saying was true: I was not ready for retirement. I don't know if my current plan and progression will get me to where I want to be competitively. I do feel much better about the training I am doing, and I think that I have room to add a bit more volume and another workout, later this fall. School is much more under control, and if things go as planned this fall, I will be able to enjoy it a little more, knowing that I've got some employment lined up.

I am racing 5k this weekend and I hope that I can bring the time under 17min. I'll base next week's tempo on my race performance, and hopefully that means I can do it a little faster. I hope that Adam, Adrian, Eoin and Stephen and I can start to get together soon as well, as it would really help to have a group. The fact that my day is already packed does not help, but I think we can swing a couple times a week. They are not up to doing workouts yet, but that's fine, as even when they start, they'll still be much faster than me, so I'll use this time to try to catch up as much as I can.

17:14

I had been planning to run 5k Endurance since May, with the goal of running 16:40 of about 30-40mpw and faster workouts than I had been used to in the past. After the mile did not go well, I actually changed things up right away, but I certainly did not expect there to be any impact whatsoever on the 5k. I was hoping for closer to 17:00, but given the mile, 17:14 is good, and I think the best part is the splits: 3:26, 30,30,33,15. So I averaged 3:27, but that last K in 3:15 says to me I could have gone faster. Maybe I could give the lower-volume method a bit more of a try, but I honestly think that for me, I just need to run more.

With respect to what Davison said about my last post, I am not planning on just jogging. I wil make two adjustments to my training. One is that I'll try to have a higher total volume: 60mpw instead of 40. The other is that instead of doing all-out, lactic workouts every week (François Pap training), I'll build up with more tempos, and run more at 5k and 10k race pace. I will still add-in some of that short fast stuff, but maybe only once every 3 weeks (and certainly not until I've had several weeks of consistent volume).

I think that when I was training for the marathon and mountain running, I probably relied too much on volume and tempos, and not enough on anaerobic training. I ran some good 10k times then because the 10k is a mostly aerobic event, and you don't lose out too much by not having the fast stuff. In the last couple of months, I think that I did too much of it, and for me, I have to be careful because my body just does not react to that kind of training. Someone like Debardi seems to eat it up, and just get faster. I'll probably never run a 3:47 1500, but I think I can still run a low 15min 5k by training mostly aerobically. What will get me over the edge from high 15 to low 15 is most likely a safer, smarter integration of lactic training. But that is not going to come until next summer. I don't think my body can sustain it for long periods of time.

So, next up, I'm going to France for two weeks. Dave Sandomierski and Gary Story speak highly of the running there, so it should be good. I'm going to try to just get in 60-75min per day while I'm there.

As for retirement/non-retirement, I'll have to think about it more, and maybe I'll actually have time this year (2L) to share some of those thoughts here.

running my age

It's been almost a year since the last post. I've done 1L, gotten completely out of shape, rounded into some kind of shape again, then stagnated. Last night I raced a mile on a dirt track, which I organized after having read The Perfect Mile, the story of Bannister and Landy and the four minute mile. I ran 5:10. Which may sound pretty fast, and it is if you don't run much, but of course next to Landy and Bannister (and don't forget Rich Ferguson, the Canadian who finished third in that famous Empire Games race), it is quite slow. It's also quite slow compared to what I could do, even at the peak of a mediocre career. I've run around 4:30 before, and 4:09 for 1500 (I was even 4:14 for 1500 last summer) so for whatever reason, what I'm doing now is just not working. Despite the fact that an analysis of my training seems to indicate the need for more fast workouts, having done some decent workouts this summer and having only a 5:10 to show for it is disappointing.

All of this is of course under the guise of "retirement" which basically means I can do what I want and not really have to answer to myself (or anyone) because, hey, I'm retired! Well, I think that I need to go back to what was working and making me very fit in the past, that is, a focus on volume, not on quality. If anything, I need a focus on volume before the quality can really do me any good anyway, so that is what I'll try.

My goal is to run my age for 10k by the end of 2009. That essentially means get back to almost PB shape. I turn 31 on Friday, which means I'll be 32 by the fall of 2009. So I should be able to run my age by then. I'll spend the fall trying to get in just about 60miles a week, with a tempo and a fartlek thrown in each week. In the winter, I'll do the bubble training (if that works out) with Concordia, and in the spring I'll start into a steady rotation of workouts. The spring plan is to rotate through mile, 5k, and 10k paced intervals, every two days, with a long run of 90min including 15-30min of tempo each weekend. That should provide enough quality. But before I do that, I'll want to be consistent at about 60miles over the fall and early winter (mostly to make sure I can get school done, and focus on coaching in the fall). Next summer I'll be working, hopefully, so I'll have a pretty strict schedule. That should be good, since clearly having my days to myself has not yielded any fruit!

Today I ran 65min easy with 10min of core. The goal is to do this well: keep the core going, and stretch, etc. Hopefully that will make up for the extra 10-20 miles a week I'm not running, and the fact that I'm old now...

Boston

I went on vacation for the first time in a long time last weekend. I mean a real vacation, not a trip for a race, or a weekend in Toronto. Miriam and I went to Boston and New York for 5 days. The purpose of the Boston stop was to see the Red Sox game at Fenway that had been rained out on marathon weekend. Miriam had already been to New York twice this summer, but she was willing to go back. It was worth it, I’d say.

In Boston we stayed with Chris Payton, a friend of mine from Waterloo Cross Country. Payton lives out in Newton/Waban, what one might call a tony suburb of Boston. His new house was an old 1920s home, with many rooms, and staircases, and even a secret closet. He and Kirsten have more rooms than they know what to do with. Or maybe they are planning a nice big Catholic family! Even Chris was a bit bewildered by the size of it, but the kitchen is really good, and as he said, they won’t have to move if they ever need more room!

Before we arrived out there, though, we walked the Freedom Trail in downtown Boston. Miriam had to drag her suitcase along with us, because of course, post-911, there are no lockers in public places any more. Being in America was a bit annoying for that. It’s almost a point of pride, it seems: we are so important that people might try to blow us up! New York was a different story, but more on that later.

Along the Freedom Trail, we learned about Paul Revere, James Otis (no one ever remembers him) and others. What stuck with me though was the origin of the word earmarked. In Boston Common, in the early days, the Puritans used to torture Quakers on the stock. They would nail their ears to the wood so that when they were released, they could be identified by their “ear-marks” in case they tried to spread Quakerism again. Evil Quakers! Yes, that’s pretty much all I got out of the Freedom Trail. Huzzah!

On the morning of the second day, Chris drove us downtown, and while he went to work for the morning, we went to the Aquarium. It was good fun. We saw the penguins, and the sharks, and some turtles. It was a solid tourist morning. The place was pretty empty when we got there, but by the time we were done, it was crawling with kids. The most memorable thing about the Aquarium: penguin shit. Everywhere. They were actually cleaning it when we got there, but they were like little, cute, swimming, shitting machines, those penguins.

We made our way to Fenway Park for the 1pm start. We settled into our bleacher seats, just as Freddy Canon was singing “Palisade Park”—but he was replacing the word Palisade with Fenway. Very clever. After the national anthems, I went down under the stands and got a Red Sox cap. I figured since everyone else in the city had one, I might as well get one, too, right?



Top of the first and there’s a fly ball to right field. J.D. Drew, the Sox’s rightfielder moves in for the catch…and drops it. The crowd lets him have it. A guy behind us is relentless: “You’re a bum! Go back to wherever you came from! You make me sick!” He actually said all of those things. In the bottom of the first, J.D. hits an RBI triple, the Red Sox score six, and go on to win the game 7-1.

We have dinner at a decent French restaurant, surrounded by people who look like they are about to get on a boat. Boston seems to have been invaded by a hoard of people who look like the two gay guys from Connecticut skit on SNL. We walked through downtown, back to Chris’ car, and went to bed, tired from a long day.

That's Miriam wearing the Sox cap, and behind her to the left (her right) is Payton collapsed on a stone map of the Boston area.

In the morning, we hopped the Amtrack for New York City. It was a pretty smooth ride, and getting in was scenic, at least through the Bronx and Queens, from which we got a very nice view of Manhattan. Then we went underground.

Retirement is good

I suppose the blog will move away from running now. That's ok, I have plenty of other things to do. Mostly marking, but other, more interesting things, too. I have been running. I think I've run three or four times in the last week. I ran with the Concordia group on Monday night, and with a couple Borealites on Thursday morning (showed Marilyn the 1mile hill, to get her ready for Jung Frau), and with Leslie this morning at 6:45. So what does retirement mean? I guess it means I didn't run yesterday, I probably won't run on the weekend, and I'm not really too worried about it.

What have I been doing then, instead? Sunday I went to Leslie's friend Pat's house and recorded some songs. Results are here. I am reasonably happy with them. Probably if I'd been really picky, I could have done a few more takes and also, I'd like to redo one song in a different key. But it's just for fun, so whatever.

Also, I've been pushing the book. I was given 20 copies to sell by Frog Hollow, and I've sold about 30. I had to order more. Caryl has sold about a dozen through the website. I have a reading in Toronto on the 24th at the I.V. Lounge. Maybe I will be able to sell some more there. I've already exceeded reasonable expectations, so I suppose it is time to get unreasonable: selling out the series. I think there are probably only about 80 more to sell.

Qui d'autre de bon? Registration for McGill Law is in progress. Actually, all I've had to do is pick my language of instruction (English please!) and enter two dummy courses into the system. They pick the courses for me. I don't have a choice. I have been wasting a lot of time on the various McGill Law facebook pages though. Our class has its own group, already! Very exciting. I've already been asked by a 23-year-old to keep an eye on her during the Orientation week drinking. Because I'm "old and stuff" she said. Nice. 5 free drinks are included with the orientation fee. I wonder if I can handle 5 drinks. Maybe I'll give them to her. That wouldn't be very good eye-keeping, though, would it? I will drink Guiness very slowly and smile wryly from afar at all the "young" people. That is my plan. That should get me through September without dying, I think.

So, sort of a transitional post, I suppose. The 26-30th I'm in Canmore/Calgary for NACAC mountain running; August 10-12th in Toronto for Gab reunion; 16-20th in Boston/NY with Miriam; 24-28th in TO again for the reading and maybe to catch Jason in the Blue Planet Run. That should be cool.

Ok, back to marking. Only two and a half weeks left of that business!

A beautiful run

I finished my competitve career with a good effort in Ottawa. I was pleased with the way the race unfolded: I got stronger as it went on, I moved up in the pack, and I passed one guy on the final stretch. I only ran 4:16, but this was the best race of the season for me, in terms of how it felt. I actually had a kick, for one thing. I answered all the questions, and I answered them correctly. When I was in doubt, I went faster, which is the way to go (thanks Terry G for that one!).

I also wanted to say that the whole experience of the "last" race was a good one. I met Freddy and Wes, and we warmed up on the trails, talking about Freddy's kids and the kid I met at the track last week. The three of us, though I only really know Freddy, and not that well, chatted like old friends, it seemed to me. During the race, they ran together for most of it, then with a lap to go, Freddy took off and Wes faded, and according to the results, I got him in the final stretch. I thought it was the other guy from OTTL that I had caught, though. Anyway, we warmed down by running to the bus terminal at Billings, discussing whether or not a chest strap on a backpack (they both often commute by running) was helpful to training. Through in a few surges--guys feeling like they hadn't raced hard enough maybe, though not I!--and then three sweaty guys on a bus. The cliché they say is "it's the people I'll miss"--well, I won't miss them because I'll still be around, coaching, running, but not really racing anymore. I think I've done all I can.

Haha, so maudlin...anyway, did I even have a career worth retiring from? That is to say, what will change? Well, here are my PBs:

800m 2:01.9 (1998)
1500m 4:09.1 (1998)
3000m 8:46 (2005)
5k 15:43 (2005)
10k 32:44 (2006) 32:36 xc (2004--probably a short course)
1/2 marathon 1:13:59 (2004)
Marathon 2:43:57 (2006)

Pretty middle-of-the-pack, but faster than most people in the world could run those distances. Probably only a couple thousand people have gone faster. I suppose that's not bad. I probably won't go faster again. Interesting thought, that.

No one believes me that I am "retiring" and maybe it's pointless to say so, but to be honest, I don't want to feel like I "have" to do it anymore. Maybe that is significant, that I feel like I have to. I'm looking forward to running, still, and running some trail races, but not having the day-in, day-out need for a run. It's a little weird, really, this running business. But I know it, and I have shared it with a lot of people. I'm not knocking it--that would be hypocritical au bas mot (did I use that right?)--just saying I'm out.

I think I've learned a few things throughout though, enough to write a book, maybe. ;)

Jay Cantin is a guy who has much faster PBs than I, and he made a little video that encapsulates the good stuff, I think.



So, on to law school...

final workouts

So after my showdown with the kid, I was left feeling very sore. I had a massage on Wednesday, which seemed to help a bit, but I can never really tell until a few days later, because Eliza really gets in there. Some people think it is decadent of me to have a massage therapist come to my house. If you were laying on that table, you would not think it is decadent. It is painful! Also, another opinion is that it is not supposed to hurt. Well, I usually end up with pretty happy legs 3-4 days post-Eliza, so it does work for me, that's all I know!

I took Wednesday-Friday easy, partly because of the massage and because of the lack of warmdown on Tuesday, and also because I was just in a funk. I was not really that much into doing François' workout on Saturday, so much so that I forgot my watch at home. I biked to McGill (in case I couldn't get in--that way it would be easier to bike to Etienne), and jogged a mile easy while an intra-mural soccer game was going on. There was a McGill sprinter there doing 150s. He did 3 in the entire time I was there. He would do one, then put his pants on and lay in the endzone listening to his walkman for 10min. Oh, to be a sprinter!

My workout was 600 in 1:40, 45sec rest, then 300 in 48. I was supposed to do that 3x. I did it once, and I'm not sure how fast it was, but it felt like race pace for the 600 and then the 300 felt fast. I acheived my goal of feeling good after the workout (or at least better than I had felt going in). The mile cool down was nice. The bike home was nicer.

From Thursday night to Saturday at the workout, I just felt horrible. I'm not sure what it was. I had a serious bout of paranoia or insecurity or something, that was making me question everything. I just sort of kept telling myself that it was nothing, that it would pass. It did. So there's a lesson kids, haha, hold your feelings inside and they'll just go away! No, there's more to it than that. I think the workout helped, actually. I haven't really been eating well lately, nor have I been sleeping enough. Friday afternoon I had a 3 hour nap, which is evidence for sure that I need to sleep more (hence writing the blog at 7:30pm instead of 2am!).

So hopefully I'm on that for the next couple of days. I did a workout today: 3-4x400 in 66 with 3-4min rec. Stop when it gets to "cote 4" which is François for "pretty easy." I did the first one in 68 and it felt like garbage. I was not pleased. I was almost ready to call it at that. But then I did another and I managed 66, with about the same effort. I started and finished the quarters from the 1500 start. On the main straightaway I got a boost of energy, or at least I realised that I had more in me, and that helped. On the 3rd quarter I did 65, again making use of a good feeling. My plan had been to do 3x400 and then finish with a 300 to make a total of 1500 for the workout. So I let it rip, a bit, for the last one. I had been starting slow (splitting 17 high mostly) and reeling it in, but for this last one, I pushed from the start. I was through in 16ish, and then I just held it for a 48. Total, give or take a second, would be 4:08.

Not that that workout is at all indicative of anything, but I feel confident that once I get warmed up a bit, I can handle the pace. I just need to get into the groove. The first 400 was awful, so maybe when I warm up on Wednesday I'll do a few longer strides, full 100s maybe, to get down to a comfortable 16.

I was confident before that I would run a PB, but I did not have it that day. I am pretty sure I am in the same shape now, and so it's just a matter of finding the groove, being rested, and letting it happen.

A sign from a kid.

Last Tuesday, I hauled out the wheels and managed 10x200 in 30.ish, with an easy walk across the soccer field for recovery. I had an interesting, perhaps defining moment...

During the second 200, this kid pulls up beside me on a bike. He's got a kid's racing helmet and fake racing number on his little dirt bike--he must be around 9 or 10 years old? Anyway, he's out in lane 4 and I'm in lane 1, just doing my 200, so I'm going as fast as I can, pretty much. He beats me to the line and then kind of peals off. Whatever, it was helpful: I had someone to aim at. After I do a couple more, he comes over to me on my walk across the field. He's not shy at all, this kid.

"Hé monsieur, veut-tu faire une course?"

I tell him, sure, but it's got to be 200m, that's it. I tell him we can even do a couple, if he wants. So he scoots over to the start line, and waits. I get there, finished my recovery, and ask him if he's ready to go. He nods, so I take off. The kid doesn't budge. Now, I don't want to interrupt my workout, but I don't want to have an unfair race, so I look over my shoulder and shout: "Come on!" He finally gets going, but he doesn't manage to catch me (I had a good head start, and he had me running scared, I'll give him that!). So as I'm leaned over, heaving after another 30.5, he wheels up to me.

"Y parrait que t'as gagné."

So matter-of-fact, les Québecois. I feel bad. I think of the scene in Without Limits where Prefontaine is running around Hayward Field with the little kids, and when one kid sprints ahead, Pre doesn't let him win. Of course, the girlfriend gets mad, says he should have let the kid win. Pre says: "You can never let a losing attitude creep in." So I think of that, and realise of course in my case it matters little, but then again, maybe I need as much help as I can get, and if crushing one 9-year-old's soul (really though, he was on a bike!) might get me a PB, maybe it would be worth it. The kid speaks again.

"Ça't tente-tu'd faire une course à vélo?"

A chance at redemption, perhaps. I had biked to the track, so I did have my bike there. I tell him, sure, but wait until I'm done running. So I polish off the rest of my 200s. He joins in for the last 50m of one. It helps. On my recovery he tells me, that in case I was wondering, he got the bike a couple of weeks ago, but the helmet and the racing number he got yesterday.

"C'est ben cool, ton bike." I tell him. He thanks me earnestly.

When I'm done, I walk over to the start finish where he's waiting. We're going to race one lap, 400m. I change out of my spikes and into my regular running shoes, and wheel myself over to the start/finish line. I let him say go. He says go and we're off.

I put my bike in the lowest gear so I'm spinning like crazy and not going anywhere. I'm in lane 1 again, and he's in lane 4 again. He puts on a little surge, but then coasts so that I catch up. I keep the gears low and just pedal steadily. He keeps looking back as if he knows I'm letting him win. I could change gears and take off any time I wanted. But he keeps surging and coasting, surging and coasting, all along the back straight and into the turn. I get the feeling he's toying with me, rather than the other way around. I wonder if I'd be better off hammering, giving him a race. Maybe he wants me to try harder.

We head into the final 100m and I change gears, pick it up a bit. So does he, staying just ahead. He doesn't coast. I am steady, working, but not going out of my way, yet. He pushes it again, and I catch up a bit. 20m to go, he's still in front. He starts to coast, I surge, then he surges one last time for the win.

Post-race, I shake his hand.

"Merci mon homme. Bonne course."

I walk my bike back to the fence. I realise that I know have to leave. So instead of doing my warmdown, I just hop on my bike and go home. It had to be done, though I felt it for three days. No warmdown after 10x200 in 30. Ouch. Good thing I had a massage on Wednesday.

one last kick at the can

I'm not sure why I felt so flat and tired on Friday night, but I think regardless of excuses, it's probably better for me not to spend the money and time to go to Windsor to run nationals, when I can get a race more geared to my level in Ottawa the same week. If I had been able to run under 4:10 on Friday (as François predicted) I would have gone for it in Windsor, just for fun, and confident that with a couple more workouts and a taper I could drop to 4:00 range. I could probably run that fast this summer if I gave myself a few more weeks, but I don't have the desire to keep this up that much longer. 4:25 is just way too slow--slow enough that it is clear it was an anomaly, but still, slow enough to make me pause.

I did 5x500 on Tuesday in an average of 1:24 with only 2min rec in heat and wind (yes there were both). Here are the splits:
1:21 (32,33,16)
1:23 (32,36,15)
1:23 (33,35,15)
1:27 (33,37,17)
1:27 (34,37,16)

Compare that to 4x500 in 1:22 with 7min rec (and a whole lot more effort) and I think it shows a definite improvement. I fell apart a bit at the end, but it was mostly in the windy section.

I don't even know what the splits were for Friday night. Saturday I went swimming with my parents and then Sunday I did a really nice trail run on the mountain for about an hour. I didn't want to go (felt down about the race, was hanging out with Miriam which is more fun than going for a run when I don't feel like it), but I did and it was very good. I probably ran too fast, but I just needed to go and have a solid run, you know?

So, yeah, today some fast 200s (10-12 in 30-32), and then we'll see. I'll have to work on getting better sleep over the weekend and early next week. I think that getting to bed late, then up at 6 (if only briefly) made me kind of tired. I also felt that I wasn't quite recovered from the big workout on the weekend, or even the 500s, AND (excuses coming to an end soon...) I think I was sick, or at least on the verge of coming down with something. I started taking vitamins again, just to buffer a bit. Can I find anything else to blame? Oh, I did some new exercises in the weight room on Wednesday. Same program, new phase, but I probably should have stuck with the same stuff. I'll talk to Liz today about it.

I feel better today and most of my school work is taken care of, so I should be good to go. It seems like whenever I have a really BAD race, I follow it up with a pretty good one (Cross des couleurs followed by 10k PB for example), so I am upbeat and confident that there will be a 1500 PB this summer.

Two very fast workouts

Ok, so I haven't posted in a week, but I haven't fallen off the wagon! I was just busy marking and didn't have time.

I did manage to get two pretty hefty workouts in. Last Wednesday, after taking three easy-ish days, post-nationals qualifying race, I went out to Lachine track for 4x800. The fact that I did a 3x10 (pretty heavy) weight workout first, and then biked 45min to get there may have affected the workout, but it was still not bad, all things considered. Here it is, with splits:

1st 800: 2:14 (31,33,34,35) it was very windy on the second and 4th 200s so I switched sides for the second one. I took about 3min rec between each one.
2nd 800: 2:20 (33,35,37,35) wind on the first and third 200s.
3rd 600: 1:44 (34,35,34)
4th 600: 1:42 (34,36,32) wind in the middle for these ones.

Not too bad, I think. I took Thursday v. easy and Friday off to travel to TO. Saturday, I met Darren at the Central Tech track for this beauty:

800: 2:15
400: 62
200: 28
400: 65 (starting to hurt)
600: 1:45 (felt it all the way to my fingers)

3min rec after the 800 and 4min rec after all the rest.

I'm pleased that I dropped that 28! I think it went really well. It felt like it was supposed to feel: lactic almost all the way for the last two intervals. I felt very tired on the second 400, but I still was pretty fast. The last 600 was a death march. I'm sure that my form was horrible, but I was just trying to get to the line at all costs. I did focus on keeping my head up at least.

Today I've got 5x500 in 1:23 (33sec 200s) with 90sec-2min rec. It should feel relatively easy, I think, but we'll see.

Friday I think I can run a PB. I was 4:14 in Sherbrooke and I felt strong, but not fast. If I can rest up enough by Friday, with these two workouts under my belt, getting the legs moving faster and working in some serious distress (what Roger Burrows calls the Emergency Response System), I think I am ready for it.

Liz is going to do my weight program for the next three weeks, and she's saying 3x/week. I guess I'll see what it looks like, but I'm excited about that, too. I really only have next week to do more workouts that will actually benefit my fitness, but sub-4 may not be out of the picture yet. We'll see what happens Friday night.

Mission: accomplished!

Two races this week, and both went exactly according to plan.

Wednesday I ran 1500 at McGill. It was my first 1500 in about a year (I ran one last summer with Cardle and Nigel, just for fun, and I think I was about 4:15), so I started conservatively (68 first lap). I felt good, and I was right about where I wanted to be, ahead of the slow guys, but too far from the fast guys. One kid from CEGEP fell off the pack and I passed him on lap 2 (70). I actually broke the race up into 3x500m. The first 500 were easy, the second 500 push and the third, kick. So when I got to the third 500, I let it rip. I was 69 for the third lap. I finished with a 4:19 (51 for the last 300). Not bad. I had fun and I ran even.

Thursday and Friday I ran v. easy for about 30min each day, with some light strides on Friday.

Christina also raced Wednesday night and ran a 4:47. She was going to race Saturday, too, and her goal was to qualify for the national championships with a top 5 spot. She is much higher ranked than I am in her event, and she had a reasonable chance going in. In fact, on Saturday night she ran another 4:47 to finish second.

I had looked at the start list ahead of time, and calculated that I was going to have to beat quite a few guys to get in myself. This is what the start list looked like on Friday:

1 5100 Poulin-Cadovius, James 85 Montreal Olympique 3:47.00
2 6400 Brett, Allan OttawaLions 3:51.23
3 5380 Lavoie, Olivier 88 Corsaire Chaparal 3:51.97
4 6403 Desormeaux, Kyle OttawaLions 3:52.49
5 6167 Michaud, Dominic 85 Cirrus 3:58.50
6 5931 Bouchard, Julien 84 Fleur de Lys 3:59.50
7 5938 DeBardi, Stephen 78 Fleur de Lys 4:02.00
8 5935 Colle, Stephane 88 Fleur de Lys 4:05.00
9 5932 Bouchard, Remi 87 Fleur de Lys 4:05.00
10 5266 Fauteux-Brault, Guillaume 87 Sherbrooke 4:06.00
11 5748 lapierre, Maxime 88 Universite Laval 4:12.00
12 5951 Lofranco, John 77 Fleur de Lys 4:15.00
13 6410 Lalonde, Patrick OttawaLions 4:15.00
14 5741 Perreault-Varin, Maxime 89 Trois-Rivieres 4:18.56
15 5644 Carriere, Yan 89 Vaudreuil-Dorion 4:30.00
16 6207 Novotny, Peter 89 Independant 4:35.00
17 6158 Demers, Benjamin 89 Cirrus 4:40.10

So for one thing I was worried about getting to race with the guys ahead of me, as they could very well have made two heats. On Saturday night, however, Things changed a bit. Lavoie didn't show (not sure if he was ever planning to, having got standard for Pan-Am juniors out west), and neither did Debardi. Julien was going to be pacing the steeple for his littlest brother, and Debardi didn't show up either. Menard was there, ready to race, but both he and James were not allowed to run because they didn't check in ahead of time. So at the line, the situation looked like this:

1 6400 Brett, Allan OttawaLions 3:51.23
2 6403 Desormeaux, Kyle OttawaLions 3:52.49
3 6167 Michaud, Dominic 85 Cirrus 3:58.50
4 5935 Colle, Stephane 88 Fleur de Lys 4:05.00
5 5932 Bouchard, Remi 87 Fleur de Lys 4:05.00
6 5266 Fauteux-Brault, Guillaume 87 Sherbrooke 4:06.00
7 5748 lapierre, Maxime 88 Universite Laval 4:12.00
8 5951 Lofranco, John 77 Fleur de Lys 4:15.00
9 6410 Lalonde, Patrick OttawaLions 4:15.00
10 5741 Perreault-Varin, Maxime 89 Trois-Rivieres 4:18.56
11 5644 Carriere, Yan 89 Vaudreuil-Dorion 4:30.00
12 6207 Novotny, Peter 89 Independant 4:35.00
13 6158 Demers, Benjamin 89 Cirrus 4:40.10

Ranked 8th, but 6th out of Quebecers (Brett and Desy, who drove down with us, were from Ontario and so couldn't qualify for nationals at this meet), all I had to do was beat one of those guys. I'll be honest, I don't really know who any of the guys whose names I haven't mentioned are (except Michaud and Novotny). So I had to beat a 4:06 guy and a 4:12 guy.

The race started out very quick, despite not having James and Menard to push the pace. Desy wanted to run 3:50, so he took it out hard. The first 200 was in 29-30 for the leaders and all those guys went with them. I was happy to be in about 12th spot and through 200 in 32 seconds. Before we got around to the first lap, (66) I had moved up on a couple of the runners and down the back stretch for the second time I was just behind a group which I think contained Lapierre and Fauteux.

I could see Desy and Brett well ahead, and Remi, Cole and Michaud were the chase pack. I thought about sitting on the young guys (ok, I know they are ALL at least 10 years younger than me--which is why I knew enough to not go out in 29!) but I felt good so I thought why not try to reel in the Fleur de Lys guys. I went around the kids and spent the next 500m looking up (good!) and chasing Cole and Bouchard #2. I didn't really gain any ground, but they pulled me through (second lap about 67).

With 500 to go, I was still just ahead of Lapierre (I think). I made a move and that was that. With 200 to go I knew I had him, and I could also see I wasn't catching anyone else, so I just gave'er and enjoyed the ride. I knew I'd make nationals because I was sitting 4th Quebecer, so that was a fun last 200. It's nice to run with a smile, sometimes.

Today I ran for 1h20, my longest in a while. I ran with Les to watch her workout. It was a bit round-about, as we went to Kent but weren't allowed on the track (we saw Neressa though, who was there watching Kouyabe play soccer in the African Games--the reason for the closure), so we jogged to McGill. She did a solid workout and I lounged on the track.

Not sure what is in store for this week, but François said something about shooting for 4:05, so if the coach says it can be done, well, it can be done. I'll extend my season two more weeks after OTFAs, and I think if I can do 4;05 at OTFAs, there's no reason why I can't use a tactical semi-final at nats to run sub-4. Tactical for them will be just right for me!

It feels a bit like those race car games where you hit a checkpoint so you are allowed to keep going. I just won myself two extra weeks of training! I know, the naysayers will claim this is just another sign I won't retire, but I think it is just perfect. I've never run nationals in track before, and I've never broken 4min. I can do both in one shot, and then head for the couch! Haha.

...and we're back up! This is like mountain running, geez...

After a rough week last week, I seem to have gotten back into shape, quite miraculously. I ended up taking both Tuesday and Thursday (and Sunday!) off, or at least, that's what my log says. I may have forgotten to log a run. Wednesday I did 10x1min hard, 1min easy on the trails on the mountain. I didn't really want to go to the track, even though my thinking was to finish the workout I started on Friday (5x2x400 in 68), so I just opted for something probably fine from a physical point of view, but easier on me mentally.

This Friday I had a great workout after consulting with François, and determining that quality over quantity was what I needed. So I did 4x500 in 1:22,21,22,23, with lots of recovery. I took about 7min between intervals. The first one was the hardest. When I did the 1:23 (and it was 1:23 high) I figured better not to do another one in 1:25, since that would not be the quality I was looking for.

Saturday I was a very good boy and I did what I was told: 15min jog and another 10x1min on/1min off, this time on the trails in Durham, as part of the 5 peaks race. I added on for a total of 1h15. I took Sunday off because Miriam and I were at the cottage and it was too nice to venture out on the road, and Jan said there were lots of bugs. Normally I wouldn't have skipped out on it, but I had done the longer run on Saturday, and again, quality, not quantity.

Monday I did 6x200 with Christina. I let her lead, and gave her a two second head start. She was supposed to run 36 and I was doing 34s. She opened with a 31, pulling me to a 30 flat. Nice. So we settled down after that. I was 30,32,33,33,33,33. Afterwards we did 3x80m FAST. They felt really really good. Not a thing in my hip. I just felt strong and fast the entire way. All systems go!

Yesterday was an easy 30min. It felt good to go for a run, even if it was kinda short and it was supposedly hot outside. I am much better in the heat now. I'm not sure why. I wonder if it has to do with my diet. I used to have a horrible time in the heat, but then, that was when I was a vegetarian. I wonder if eating meat has helped somehow? I could ask Amy, she might know...

So, tonight is the first 1500. I am seeded at 4:18, which is a reasonable estimate, I think. There is a fast group (looks like John Carle is pacing James for a 3:47) with about 3-4 guys under 4min, but then there is a slower group, and they will probably start too fast, so I should have some people to run with for the first bit. It doesn't really matter to me in a 1500. I will run 34s and see where that gets me with 300 to go. I felt very fast on Monday, holding back on those 33s, so I think it will be ok. It will be interesting to see what the turnaround will be like for Saturday night.

back to basics? to the drawing board? to the future?

Wow, tough week. After some really good workouts, my 3k did not go as I had hoped. And it wasn't even like I was a bit off what I was expecting. I was WAY off. I don't understand it, really. I ran 9:29, which is 43 secs off my PB and about 30 secs off what I figured I could do. Having run in the 8:45-9:00 range several times, I didn't think it would be that hard to get back there, especially given the good workouts I had. But, maybe my own instinct for shorter recoveries is a good one. Maybe 3-4min rest between intervals is too much--it doesn't simulate the race enough. In a race you don't get to recover. Or, maybe the workouts were designed for a 1500 and that tree will bear fruit next week. I suppose we will see.

Friday I tried to do a workout, but it just wasn't happening. The plan was 2x5x400 in 67-68 with 200m rec and 5min set rec. Pretty reasonable. I did the first one in 68 and I knew it was going to be ugly. The next two were 70 and 72 (37,35 with wind, but still). I did one more without my watch, just by effort. I honestly felt like I was about 50 years old (actually, that's not fair because I know some 50-year-olds who could probably knock that one back).

Reasons? Looking forward to shopping with hot new girlfriend? Sounds like a good excuse, but that's not really the reason. More likely: very little sleep last week, esp post-race, and Thursday night (which also included 3 pints and a drunken bike ride...oops!). So I took Saturday completely off. And when I say completely, I mean completely. I got out of bed to make us breakfast and to get the paper. It was a pleasant and necessary indulgence.

Regardless, I think I need to re-evaluate the goals. Probably 4:15-18 would be reasonable for next week, and if all continues to go well, I can still shoot for a PB of 4:08 in Ottawa. The chiro is working well, so that should help, too.

Sunday I did the Tour de L'ile: about 65k total, including the trip from my house to Parc Maisonneuve and back. It was a fun day, and I almost acheived my goal of taking it easy. I stayed with Katy and Yasmin and Mike for most of the first part. I satisfied my urge to go fast by falling back first to call Christina to see if she was home to lend me a jacket (she didn't answer) and then to call her mom to see if I could just stop by the house. Franca answered and got me Chrissy's Concordia jacket. So then I had to pedal pretty hard to catch the group. It was fun. I held back until the half-way stop. There I had to really keep it under wraps not to want to go out again too soon. We got our free cheese and milk (dumbest promotional idea ever: milk and cheese on a hot day!), and layed about on the grass. I was thinking in my head: all these people, they're leaving, they're getting ahead of me! But I held it back. Once we got going again, at about 30k or so Katy met up with some more Concordia people. I got a bit ahead of her and when I looked back I couldn't see her. She had said she wanted to find the next bathroom, so I didn't want to wait around too long in case she had stopped. So onward I went, fast, as I like to go. The last rest-stop is a forced one, and I got a Super Ice, and enjoyed that, asked who Wayne was (there were a lot of "I'm with Wayne" t-shirts). Turns out he was doing his 20th tour. Nice. I biked the last 8k pretty fast (for me). I figure it was about 30kph, except for the last bit through the Olympic stadium. It was good to finish with a bunch of little kids, just to put the point on it: IT'S NOT A RACE!

So yeah, I feel much more rested now and hopefully this week will help me get ready for the 1500 on the 13th. My motivation to do well is low, but my motivation to run is not flagging much. I did a nice easy run with Sarah Jane this morning and I'm giong to do the tempo with the kids tonight. Only a double because SJ was in town: she is big soup. I met her in the lobby of the Queen Elizabeth hotel. Meeting the personal trainer/nephew is very big soup. Haha.

Let's see what this week brings. Go Ducks.

Two more workouts: faster and faster!

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. The body really is good at doing what it is told. After two weeks and only four workouts, I'm running much faster than I thought I would. The rust is gone. I'm seriously thinking 8:45ish next week, especially if the chiro treatment works out. I had a pretty long evaluation with Dr. Neil today, and he seemed to think it was a fixable problem. He will treat me on Monday.

This week, I did two workouts. Wednesday, Debardi and I jogged over to McGill at around 3pm. The girls guarding the track wanted two bucks from us, but Debardi sweet-talked them and in exchange for letting us in for free, we did our workout shirtless. Fair trade, I think. ;)

Anyway, the workout was 2x(600-400-600-400) with 2min between each interval, 10min between each set. François gave us some goal times, but they were more for Julien than for us old guys, so we modified. Still, I was pleased to run 1:47-67-1:47-66 in the first set. It gave me enough confidence to go faster in the second set, and we managed to pull it off: 1:44-64-1:44-66. The last quarter was tough, and Debardi waited for me to pull me through the last 100. Still, it felt great. I am getting faster every day.

The second workout proved it, as I opened with a 1:40 600 on a hot Friday afternoon. The workout was 600-500-400-300-200-100, the first three at 1500 pace and the next three fast. 1:22, 64 (a little too fast, but felt great), 46, 30 and no time, but fast with the McGill group doing 200s in 27. Lots of recovery, but I'm really more concerned with getting the legs to turnover, so I don't mind.

I'm a little disappointed with how much attention François is paying to me. I know, odd, as I'm a coach, too, and we both know I can figure it out on my own, but I've asked him to help me with this 1500 thing. It is a common problem with Frank: he has too many athletes and tries to do too much. He is a great coach, and a great man, but sometimes his plate gets too full. He wanted me to do 15x200 at 1500 pace on Monday, but that's my tempo day, and I don't think he realised that I'm running a 3k on Wednesday, not 1500.

200s and lower back pain

The second track/1500 workout of the summer/comeback is on. 12x200 with 200 break, in about 32. I had a couple 31s, early (and when I put the spikes on), and a 33 in there as well, near the end. It hurt, more than I think a 200m workout should, but it was considerably better than last week. I felt kind of broken-down-tractor-like for most of it (and yes, that is an improvement), but I just kept telling myself to make my legs turn over, because that's what I need most right now. That's what needs to catch up. The endurance is there. It's there.

My back was still pretty tight. I saw Julie on Tuesday and she figures it is a pinched nerve. She showed me the way it looks in her book and with the skeleton and all, and it seems like my hip is jammed up, keeping the nerve from sliding. There may also be some scar tissue. So I think I will go and see François' chiro. He's right near my house. I got chiro right after Boston, and it felt good for a week. I used to get it all the time, from Janet, when I was in Toronto. Some people are against it (physios and certain massage therapists--it's funny how people take sides on that), but I've had success in the past, so I think that is what I will do. It seems to make sense: something is stuck; it needs to get unstuck. The chiro can do that. The problem is how did it get that way? Julie couldn't figure it out. I think it is just from lots of mileage and from mountain running. I mean, leaning over, running uphill for an hour? Then training 80-100mpw, 2h+ runs...come on. It's an overuse injury, brought on by a weakness in my core, lower right back, glutes, too, probably (not firing as usual). So the chiro will re-set it, and since I'm planning to keep my volume down, I think I should be ok. I hope so because I feel like an old man. This is bordering on chronic pain and I AM NOT THAT OLD YET.

Also: sat in the tub with cold water and ice from the Ultramar. 8min. Not bad. I think that will help the legs. My right calf cramped up on the cool down, and my hams got real tight at the end. All related to the back, of course, but I think the ice will do good. It would do good anyway, so might as well.

And: I met Debardi's mom. François was telling me she is an incredible lady. Was all over the world in the 60s and 70s setting up medical facilities and stuff. Love those New Brunswickers! She's from Bat-hurst.

Next week: two workouts. Wednesday and Friday. Mondays tempos have been good. Did 5x5min with Debardi on the trails on the mountain this week. It felt pretty good. Everything feels real good except my back. I wonder how it'll be with rock climbing? It'll probably do me some good to hang upside down or something. We'll see!

1500 season

I did my first track workout of the summer tonight. It was pretty short and pretty slow, but it was a good re-integration to that sort of thing. 4x400 in 69,72,71,72 with 200 recovery, then 4min, then 4x200 in 32,33,34,32, also with 200 recovery. The first 200 was actually 31.8, so it was nice to see that I still have some wheels. I subscribe to the Steve Boyd theory that the speed is there, and you just have to work on the endurance. That is, if you can run one 200 in 31, then you can run a 1500 that fast, if you work on your endurance. I will probably have to work on the speed end a bit, too, though. Ok, let’s be honest I have to work on it a lot. I think I can get down to doing 200s under 30 pretty soon. Not sure what that will mean for 1500 pace though.

First race is likely to be at McGill on May 30th, a 3000m. Should be a good transition from the marathon, and hopefully I can go much faster than my 9:24 of this winter. My goal for the summer is to run 1500 under 4min. 3:59.6, to be precise—Harold’s outdoor PB. I gotta get something faster than that guy! His 3000 is 8:33, which seems a stretch for the short time-frame I have before I open up, but we’ll see. You never know.

The thing is, this is going to be my last kick at the can, I think. Everyone seems to be in denial about it but me, though. Leslie doesn’t believe it. François just laughed. It’s going to be fun having a coach this summer, and hopefully getting some workouts in with Julien and Debardi, but I can’t see myself training the way I have for the last couple years anymore. Two marathons and two world championships in year and a half is a lot. I need to take a break, at least, from training. Realistically, with law school in the fall, I’ll just run a bit with Concordia, but not really train for anything. Next summer, I’ll see if I want to get back into it, but I don’t know if I want to invest that kind of time anymore.

I spoke with Jay about the running/identity thing. It’s tough to shake it. Part of my identity is that I am a runner. I still will be, I suppose, just not as fast. I will still coach the school and Boreal (until the fall at least). I have always said that coaching gives me just as much, or even more, satisfaction as running does: I’m just so blown away by what Chrissy’s been able to do in two years. Sofiane is going to be a monster in the fall. I am really happy when Laura tells me she feels strong before her marathon. I still have yet to see Claudine qualify for Boston, but man, when she does it is going to be awesome. Maybe this is living vicariously, and also, I know that my contribution to their success is much less than their own, but still seeing them succeed is really great. So I can still keep running as part of me, without having it take over, as Jay put it.

The thing is, after recovering from the marathon, I feel like I’m coming out of a bit of a fog. It may be that it is spring, but I feel like I have so much more energy now that I’m not running two hours a day (duh!). I kind of like having this much energy. It is nice to be able to go to bed late and not feel shattered the next day. It’s nice to be able to have a beer or eat crap once in a while.

The 1500 stuff is fun, and I think that since I’m so far ahead aerobically, I can make the transition, do workouts for 6-8 weeks, and maintain my base with very little mileage. This will let me get some biking and swimming in (for Ste. Agathe in August), and rest the legs a little. The plan is going to look something like this:

Monday: weights, then tempo with Concordia
Tuesday: easy run
Wednesday: weights, then track workout on my own, also a long bike ride in the evening to Boreal.
Thursday: off (long day at Concordia especially after a late night coaching)
Friday: track workout at Etienne-Desmarteau
Saturday: easy run and/or swim with Char and/or bike ride with Sean/Amélie
Sunday: long run (90min max! Haha, that’s not a long run at all!)

So, five or six days or running, no double runs (though some double workouts if you count the weights). It’s almost like normal exercise. Gasp! Ok, not really.

I’m very excited about the weights. I think Liz has put together a good program for me. I was happy to have exceeded her expectations in the rowing test this week. She figured I’d pull 2:30 for 500m, and I managed 1:53. It’s about mental toughness. When I saw I was averaging 1:55 for the first 20 seconds or so, I didn’t want to slow down. If I hadn’t had the average pace there, I might not have done it, but really, two minutes of rowing is not a lot. I have to try to get better every time though, so maybe I should have dogged it a bit! (Maybe I did! I think I can do better.)

I’m going to see Julie on Tuesday about my back. I am going to have to face the music. I probably should have gone a long time ago. Oh well. Hopefully between her and Liz, I’ll get things straightened out. The good news is that it seems to hurt less when I run fast. Not sure why that is.

Bring on the 1500. It’s going to be a fun summer.

Boston Marathon Literary Review

So where do I start? Hopkinton, Mass, I guess. Actually, it started at about mile 24, Brookline, at 5:15am, the earliest I have risen in a long time. I got up, ate three eggs and the bagel I bought the previous day at Finaglebagel where they have a table-saw/conveyor belt contraption that cuts bagels—coolest thing ever! Seriously, the bagel cutter was the highlight of my trip.

Anyway, I ate, then I got on the T (no birthday party singing this time) and rode downtown. I followed the crowd. There was a guy with stakes. He was planning to build his own tent. It was raining. The system was very well-organised. There was a line of about twenty yellow school busses, which loaded up with an odd assortment of both stringy and pugdy folk wearing garbage bags, and then zoomed off, only to be replaced not five minutes later with another line of empty buses.

I got on the bus at around 6:45, I suppose, and in an hour we were in Hopkinton. On the way, we had to stop to pick up stranded passengers from another bus that broke down. I read my newly purchased “Runner’s Literary Companion,” a book I had heard about but was unable to find elsewhere. If the USA is good for anything, it is good for finding stuff. I read the excerpt from Once a Runner, not because it was really applicable (I had read the marathon stories the night before, in an effort to feel something special about the day. No dice), but because I like that story a lot, and it makes me want to run. Wanting to run would be a key ingredient on Monday.

So we rolled into Hopkinton, a town I have now mentioned three times, which is probably three times too many. Caroline, my ride down, said that she really liked the town, but to be honest, I hardly noticed it. Pierre, Caroline’s husband, has family nearby, and he seemed to share my nonplussedness. Anyway, the first thing I did there was take a dump. There wasn’t really a line, contrary to popular legend.

They had erected tents over the two sports fields that they used as athlete villages. Despite this, the ground under the tent was swamp-like at best, from a full day and night of driving rain. Yes, the weather was very bad in the days leading up to the marathon. I wandered to the lower village, after hearing announcements that the school and the upper village were full. I skwooshed into the tent, found an empty table, spread out my garbage bag and sat down. A few others joined me on my perch, which I gladly shared, but most runners had to sit on the ground (if they wanted to sit, which is sort of the ideal position to be in two hours before race time), and I’m not sure their garbage bags really helped much. It got really dark at one point, and there was some lightning. The wind blew the rain around, but mostly, I stayed dry and relaxed.

After some more reading, and some iPod listening (Yer Not the Ocean and World Container by the Tragically Hip were the last two songs I played before heading out), I threw on my disposable rain poncho and walked towards the start. On the way I stopped off at the toilet again (just to piss this time—the woods were being patrolled by siren-wielding sheriffs on 4x4s), and then over to my baggage bus. I was pleased to see my stuff would be on Bus #1. I would regret that later, though…I took off my pants and my jacket, changed into my racing shoes, and put my bag on the bus. Then I jogged (a cursory warm up) the .7miles to the start line.

Once I got there, I looked for people I might know: Jason Loutitt, Louis-Phillipe Garnier…I didn’t see anyone I knew. I had seen Michelle and/or Alison Gates (I saw them/her twice. Not sure which was which, or if it was the same one twice) in the village, but that’s it. No Marcio, no Louise, no Caroline.

I got to the start line at 9:45. Everything was timed pretty well. It was still raining a bit, but not hard. They introduced the elite men, then Sergeant Dan sang a hearty rendition of the Star Spangled Banner, and then away we went. A lot of Americans had their hands over their hearts during the national anthem. It is nice that people care so much, I think, but also maybe a little scary. Perhaps it was appropriate to be patriotic at this moment, not because the Boston Marathon is an American institution, and indeed a historic race (it is), but because of WHY it is so. The original race was 24.5 miles from Ashland, but before that, it was meant to go from Concord to Boston, to mimic Paul Revere’s famous ride (a sort of American homage to Philippides). That, I did not know before reading the first chapter of Michael Connelly’s “26 miles to Boston.”

Physically, I felt good. All of my aches and pains were gone. I hadn’t done any strides or anything, but the jog over had felt good. I really felt like for the first time in three months, I was ready for a good little run. The weather, the much ballyhooed weather, was improving, and regardless, was the best I’d seen in months anyway. No snow. Temp well above freezing, and the wind was intermittent at worst.

My plan was to try to run 2:37. Originally, François and I had thought breaking 2:30 was a reasonable goal, but after a few set-backs in training, and given some race results along the way, I figured this was a challenging, yet do-able goal. The big challenge in the Boston marathon is not to go out too hard. 2:37 averages out to 6min miles, but, given the nature of the course, anything up to 5:45 would have been ok for a first mile. Very relaxed, I ran 6:18. So, good, I thought. I avoided the first mistake. So I picked it up to about the pace I thought was right. Sure enough, I was through 3miles in 18:00 and did my first 5k in 18:38. A “Christina” 5k, I thought of it as, since that’s about what she runs them in.

The course is boring. I’m sorry to say that one small, quaint Massachusetts town looks just like another, and the roads between them are even more so. Still, I was feeling good, and I had a partner to run with. A guy in an orange singlet had moved with me after our first slow mile, and we had been gradually moving through the field together. We had an unspoken agreement, it seemed. He looked for me before he made a move, and I looked for him. We’d move up on a group and feel them out for a bit, then one of us would decide to move on. I would see most of these groups again.

Sometime around 10k, which I completed, again, on target, in 37:03, I saw Jason Loutitt. I hadn’t expected to see him so soon, or at all, and it made me worried that I was running too fast. But he said he hadn’t been running much lately, and that he wasn’t going to push it. He was in the middle of changing his shirt, and then he said he was going to drop back. I didn’t see him again. Around this time I also passed a guy named Laurent Jugant who runs for Vainqueurs. What is wrong with this guy? I passed him at about 22k in Toronto. He always goes out way too hard. He could probably run a decent race (any distance!) if he were patient, but he always goes out of his league. I know what you are thinking. I don’t ALWAYS do that…

Somewhere around here (again, it was all a blur. The towns were pretty dirty, and the spectators, though friendly, were not wall-to-wall, as advertised. I can see why, as it was a miserable day. I was fine running, but I wouldn’t have wanted to stand outside for any great length of time)…so, somewhere around 10k-15k, my gloves got too wet and sticky to deal with. I had my trust straw, but at the first water stop, I discovered that it had cracked. I pulled on it, but hardly got any juice. The second water stop was better, and I managed to make good use of it until about 10k, at which point I accidentally let it fall to the road with the empty cup. I would have to learn how to drink on the run on the run. I spilled a bit more than I would have wanted to, but it actually worked out ok. Still, at this point, the gloves, the nice white official Boston marathon gloves that I had been given at the start, were all wet. So I thought I would be nice, and give them to a kid who was standing there watching the race. I peeled them off, tucked them into a ball, and looked for a kid on the sidelines. I saw a little girl with her mom, so I angled over, looked her right in the eye, waved the gloves, and tossed them. She didn’t move and they bounced right off her face. I was shocked, not sure if I should laugh or feel bad. No time for either, as I was already by her. I yelled “You were supposed to catch them!” I hope she didn’t think she had to return them.

15k in 55:45, but I was starting to feel it. The orange-singlet guy had caught up to me after I broke away for a bit. I was feeling good, and I thought, well, I might as well keep on a good thing. What may have happened is that we may have hit a tailwind. I’m not sure. Anyway, at about 11 miles or 17k, I began to fall gradually off the pace. The orange guy was slowly reeling in the next group. So was I, but I was doing so much more slowly. I thought, if I can just catch the group, I’ll hang in with them and re-group. No such luck though, as they group itself came apart, and we all drifted into a kind of no-man’s land of strung-out, just off the pace runners, easy prey for the groups that were moving up from the back.

One of the first groups to do so housed a small, Japanese runner in green and white. I noticed him because he was so small. I would see him later as well. For now, he moved on, leaving me to my misery.

By the time we hit Wellesley College, I was sorely tempted to take one of the girls up on their “Kiss me for good luck” signs. I was in serious need of some luck. I settled for a bunch of hand slaps. It was way too early to be feeling any kind of trouble if I wanted to do well. My pace had dropped off by a minute (19:42, after my last 5k had been 18:42, and 18:24 and 18:38 before that). Trouble.

I went through halfway in just under 1:20. I thought, well, the worst I can do is toddle in in a 1:30 half…

My mouth was dry from gummi bears. I was doing my best to drink, even though I was depressed because I knew I was not going to run a good time, or crack the top 100 (which last year was just under 2:37, fyi, this year was 2:38:36, so not that much different, despite the weather). It would have been easy to not drink, but I knew I had to if I wanted to finish the thing. My fifth 5k was 20:37.

When we hit the hills, I actually started to feel better. Sometimes I think this only happens because I slow down. Probably true in this case. I was definitely running at sub-maximal effort, but I had long ago abandoned any thought of pushing through. It’s one thing to do it in the last 10k, but another to do it in the last 25. Again, the hills were nothing, really. I slowed down to 21:52 and then 22:47 from 25-35k. I thought I saw Sharlene Cobain at about 30k, but I may have been hallucinating. Sharlene, was that you?

In any case, the hills were not so bad. The third one was the worst, but my heart had been broken long before Boston College, so when the guy in the bathrobe stepped out in front of me, screamed, and flashed open his robe, I was not even mildly surprised to see that he was wearing black soccer shorts underneath. Nothing special was the theme for the day.

At the Boston marathon, you expect miracles. You expect something great to happen or some revelation or to cry or to laugh a great joy. At 23miles, I thought that it was about to happen to me. In my case, finishing the Boston marathon is no big deal. I know I can run that far, and I know that you can put even bigger hills than Newton in there and I’ll do it. It could have been raining much harder, and I would have finished. So you have to understand, performance is important. It’s not win or lose, but it is not simply how you play the game. It is somewhere in between. So when, at 23miles, I thought I saw the clock read 2:20:00, I had my moment. I did some quick math, and realised that all I had to do was run about 22min for the last 5k, and I’d have a PB. A PB is always a cause for celebration, a sign, no matter what else that you can say, today I ran the best race of my life. So I went for it. I started hammering. And to my surprise, I found that I had it in me. I hammered and passed a good dozen guys in the next mile. Funny how people were falling off the wagon. I mean, they were jumping off head first. I was well-rested from the 12miles of jogging I’d done in the meantime. Then I hit 24miles and saw the clock: 2:36:18. It was one of those good news/bad news moments. The good news: I didn’t just run a 16min mile. The bad news, I just ran a 6:18 mile, which means that I misread the clock at 23. Dear John: Shit. Signed, Heartbroken in Brookline.

Right about this time, I passed Payton and Kirsten on their way to Fenway. Kirsten got a good shot of me, and you can tell by the look on my face that I am right pissed. Not tired after having run 24miles, not hitting the wall, no, pissed. I tried to turn it into something good. I did. I picked it up a bit again, convincing myself for a moment that, hey, 2:51 is better than 2:53. Right? Right? I played this game with myself, mostly losing, until the last mile. Someone once said: Everyone’s got heart on the final straightaway, or something like that. In the marathon, maybe the last mile is that straightaway. Then again, there were a lot of people, as I said, who were clearly enjoying themselves even less than I was.

Case in point: just after crossing under the bridge at Commonwealth (a course adjustment they made last year), I noticed, not too far ahead, the green and white-clad Japanese guy. I gunned it again. I passed him, and several others, and kept cruising onto Boylston street. I was now in the final stretch. Please pass the heart. The streets were lined with screaming people, and some idiot in front of me was even playing to the crowd, encouraging them to scream louder. I was not in the mood. I passed him. I passed one of the elite women who had started 15min ahead of me. She was not having a good day, either. I caught sight of a guy wearing a “Snickers Marathon Bar” singlet. Snickers? Gross. You are the weakest link. Actually, he was Pepi Peterson. Not pleased, didn’t speak to me after the race. Sorry, dude.

So I finished. I crossed the line, a little more tired than when I had crossed it the night before with Chris and Kirsten on our walk downtown, but I crossed it. I was…underwhelmed. The lady who removed my timing chip seemed hard-done-by to tie my shoe back up. They gave me a bag of potato chips, a banana, an apple and a granola bar. I had to walk three or four blocks to get my bag. Luckily, I was able to get a massage and a chiropractic treatment (my back felt ok, and feels ok now) quickly. But the rest of the post-race experience was frustrating and boring. I could see it in the spectators who were looking for their family members who had run. It was impossible, or nearly impossible to pick someone out of the crowd, even with the lettered family meeting area signs. I waited around for Caroline (and Pierre and Laura as spectators), but at 3pm I decided it was futile. I took the T back to Chris and Kirsten’s and they were just getting in from the Sox game. Sunday’s game got rained out, but when we find out when the make-up game is, I’ll probably go back and visit again. They were really great hosts, by the way. It started and ended at Mile 24, Beacon and Kent.

A few positive notes: I beat Pepi. Yes, it is about beating people. It is a race. That is the purpose of racing, really. It’s not a time trial, it’s not the Boston Fun Run, it is a race. But I suppose everyone has their reasons (see Adidas marketing campaign—actually, really, what it is, is a big fat advertisement, but anyway…positive things).

I did not bonk. I believe that a combination of good training and smart racing (or at least smart racing making up for earlier foolish racing) saved me that ignominy. 2:51 after all is not that different from 2:44, in the fuel consumption scheme of things. So I feel I can be proud of that. It does seem that in general times were slower this year, but I don’t want to use the weather as an excuse or play the game of well, the leaders were 7min slow, so that means you can take 8 or 9min off your time, or it’s worth this or that. I ran what I ran. My fitness is likely a little faster than that, but exactly how much faster I could only say if I had gone out slower. I don’t think that I fell prey to the course at Boston, as I did go out slower than planed, and I did stick to my plan. I just over-estimated my fitness. A mistake nonetheless.

I did run the Boston marathon. Apparently this impresses people. I’m happy that it does. It does mean that I have done something a lot of other people have done. A lot of other people have not done it, either, and really really want to do it. So, yes, finally, I do feel a little bit special.

Will I do a marathon again? I probably will, but not any time soon. Running a marathon is not hard, despite what some might tell you. Training properly for one, when one is a pretty fit and mildly successful runner with competitive ambitions, however, is quite difficult, time-consuming, and ultimately, life-draining. If this, or any other, marathon teaches a lesson about life, it is that if you make a plan, and carry out the plan, you’ll probably make your goal. There are no miracles. Just hard work. Steady, simple, straight ahead hard work. It can be applied to anything: to your job, to your love relationships, to your family. It should be applied to those things. Simple, get-out-the-door-and-do-it-everyday is what got me to the finish line, the same as Robert Cheruiyot, and the same as this guy: http://www.whatwouldjacobdo.com/. So there you go.