Crisis mode (always a crisis)

The last couple weeks have been really hard. First it was hard because I was running so much. Then it was hard because I wasn't running at all. Now it is hard because I can run, but I don't want to. Or at least, I'm able to run a bit, but I'm holding back on days my HR is high (like today: 66 in the am, way too high, even though I didn't feel sick), and it is frustrating.

I think what has happened is when I found out I got into law school, it sort of solidified my impending retirement (or cutting back on training or whatever), and it made it hard to keep focus on Boston, knowing that after that, I'd probably not be training for anything in particular for a while. I always do that: skip my focus to the next thing, before the current project is done. It makes it hard to get out there and do the stuff you have to do, but don't feel like doing when you know that in 2 months, you won't HAVE to do that stuff anymore. It is pretty easy to start to want to slack off now. Also, not running for 5 days gets you into that mood pretty quick.

I'm running the 3k at provincials Saturday. I'm excited because I know that I must have some fitness from all those miles. I ran a reasonable 5k in January and I'm way fitter now, even with the time off. So I hope to surprise the field. They are all pretty fast (Julien ran 8:43 in Boston, and the others are in the 8:50s), but I'm hoping that the long indoor season will have taken its toll. Also, they all have a tendency to go out too hard (try for 8:30 and run an ugly 8:45), so maybe I can catch some of them dying, the young guys especially. Julien will be hard to beat, since I gave him advice on how to race 3k (haha), but I think the young kids will be ripe.

That race is motivating me now, but of course the best thing I can do for it is to take it easy. Still, I will do a solid run tomorrow, and hopefully the race will go well. I have always run very hard at provincial indoors. For some reason it seems to get me to my limits. Maybe it is the 10pm start time. Sunday I will try for a 20miler, regardless. Perhaps that's foolish, but I'll see how I feel. The following weekend I'm racing a half marathon, which is more in line with the whole Boston thing. I would like to run well, but I wonder if I should worry more about training than racing. There are only 6 weeks until the marathon. A good half would boost the confidence though. I guess I will see how the week goes.

Prediction: 8:58 I think I can dip under 9min if I run it right.